In my head.

I am starting to get really tired of people complaining about how bored they are and how they can’t do anything they want.

I am a pregnant mother of a two year old who has to play mommy every other weekend to her little brother and sister. I do all the laundry and fold all the laundry. I clean the house all the time and clean up everyone’s messes. I make breakfast and lunch everyday, then I am the one gathering food together to make a dinner for my family.

I love my daughter and I can’t wait to meet my son. My little brother and sister need me and I completely understand that. However, I HATE doing laundry. I don’t like folding clothes. I do not like having to clean the house almost everyday just to keep it tidy. Being pregnant, most of the time, I barely have energy to clean up after myself, let alone everyone else in the house. Now, to top it all off, I do NOT like cooking. I do nothing but worry about what everyone with think of what I picked out to eat, how it looks and how it tastes.

I do many things that I don’t want to do. While you’re upstairs feeling sorry for youself (since your big bad girlfriend doesn’t want you to go to a bonfire that your logically untrustworthy, slutty ex-girlfriend will be attending) I am working my ass off cleaning the mess you left downstairs. I put your dishes in the dish washer and take them out when they are clean. I wash the pots and pans that cook the food you eat. I wash your clothes, so when you’re getting dressed for work, you have clean clothes to wear.

Don’t consider yourself trapped when you don’t even know what it feels like to be trapped. You enjoy your freedom taling to a bunch of girls who I don’t trust, like, or even know. Honestly, it’d be nice to call up John and his family and let them know that I am alright, kinda how you would go to enjoy a nice game of D&D with your ex’s father… When you go out no one knows you have a son on the way. Women don’t know that you are expecting a child. I look down and all the evidence of our child is there. When I go out, men instantly know that I am off limits and that I am expecting a child… Hahahaha… that’s a laughable concept. I never go out…

The final thing I have on my mind is how much I dislike guns. They are made to take life. Your step father says that he does not like guns… then why does he own one? If you don’t like flowers would you decorate your home with them? The answer is that no logical person would. Why buy guns, go to gun conventions and go to a shooting range to shoot guns if you don’t like guns? There is no logical explanation. You are just desperately trying to deny the truth… you like guns. I honestly hope that anyone who owns a gun will one day learn the hard way the horrors they always bare. And if that was too vague, then here’s this: I hope that a close family member or yourself suffers at the hand of a person weilding a gun and you witness first hand all the wrong a gun does. Guns do no good nor justice. They only kill. That is all they are made to do. Nothing more, and barely ever anything less.

The honest truth is that I would not want to lay next to someone who has shot a gun. I would not want to hold hands with a person like that. I could never see myself feeling as in love with my boyfriend as I am right now if I ever found out that he used a gun. I would always hold it against him. It would always be in the back of my mind and with every kiss, I would throw up alittle in my mouth…


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